


5 Ways Being in the Brotherhood of Mutants Kind of Sucks, and 1 Way it Sort-of Doesn't

by patientalien



Category: X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Post-Betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-02
Updated: 2012-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 18:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/311043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patientalien/pseuds/patientalien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title pretty much sums it up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Ways Being in the Brotherhood of Mutants Kind of Sucks, and 1 Way it Sort-of Doesn't

1.

The newly-formed Brotherhood of Mutants does not have a headquarters. While under those under the proverbial wing of Professor Xavier live in the lap of luxury in New York, the Brotherhood lives out of the back of Azazel's van. No one is sure why, exactly, he has a van since he can teleport, but nobody really wants to ask either.

Magento doesn't let anyone else drive the van, even though it's not his. Emma tries to call shotgun every time, but somehow Azazel always beats her to it. She ends up sandwiched between Mystique and Riptide in the back.

"Please move your elbow," she requests of Riptide, who merely glares at her. She reaches out into his mind and takes control, moving him so he is as far away from her as possible.

"Magneto, Emma's doing *that thing* again," Mystique tattles, and Emma resists the urge to punch the other woman in the throat.

"Don't make me turn this van around," Magneto threatens, but Emma knows he won't - it's not like they've got anywhere to go back to, and it's not like anybody takes Mystique seriously, anyway.

  
2.

They eventually find a crappy apartment to set up shop in. At the top of a hill that Emma is sure will suck during the winter, the apartment lacks all but the most basic amenities, and has only two bedrooms, so she has to share her space with Mystique and Angel.

Angel is okay. She has good taste in clothes, and listens to decent music, and respects Emma's need for ten hours of beauty sleep.

Mystique, on the other hand, can't seem to grasp why it is important to rinse out the sink after she brushes her teeth, or why Emma doesn't like to shower after her because she doesn't clean her shed scales out of the tub drain before getting out, and she always looks somewhat confused whenever Emma leaves a sticky-note on the mirror reminding her to wipe up her hair from the counter.

Mystique does make really good French toast, though, so there's that.

  
3.

Everyone takes turns doing the laundry. There is no washer/drier in the apartment, so whoever's job it is in a given week has to lug the laden basket to the basement laundry room and back. It is not something any of them want to be doing, not when there are humans to terrorize and mutants to recruit and uncomfortable run-ins with Xavier to deal with.

Corners are cut, and the laundry does not always get separated the way it should, which is how, after Riptide's turn, Emma finds herself with a dull pink bodysuit instead of the pristine white she was expecting. "This is ridiculous," she tells anyone who will listen (which is nobody, though Angel is ostensibly in the room), gesturing at herself.

Angel shrugs and makes a big show of flipping through her magazine. Emma huffs, and then decides to short-sheet Riptide's bed.

4.

Angel is one of the few people who knows how repulsive Emma Frost is first thing in the morning. Though the blonde woman always seems put together and icy by the time she is ever seen in public, sharing a room with the woman has made Angel aware of several things.

For one thing, she has horrible morning breath, like rotten eggs left out in the sun for a week. Angel isn't sure what's in Emma's diet that would cause such a thing, but she knows she now stands upwind until Emma has brushed her teeth.

For another thing, her hair does not start the day in its signature poofy glory. It takes an hour with a blow-dryer and curling iron, during which time Emma forbids anyone else from using the bathroom. Angel has gone in the sink on more than one occasion, sometimes on top of already-dirty dishes.

When Azazel gives her a dirty look, she flips him off, because she knows he has done it too.

5.

Magneto, nee Erik Lensherr, gets his cape caught in doors a lot. He is beginning to understand Hank McCoy's insistence on "no capes!" when they were discussing outfits for the old crew, but it doesn't make him stop wearing it. How will anyone know how awesome he is without a cape? And besides, the helmet would just look goofy without a cape to complement it.

He is at the tail-end of a raid on an anti-mutant group, having made his point by destroying all of the metal objects in their meeting place. He turns on his heel to stalk out, slamming the door behind him, only to find himself being pulled to the floor as the door refuses to give up its grip on his cape.

Sighing, Magneto pulls himself back to his feet and opens the door again, feeling sheepish. "I told you it wasn't the last you'd see of me," he tells the gawking crowd and, tail (and cape) between his legs, he storms back out.

6.

Sometimes, he sees Charles around. Once he'd gotten over the shock of the true impact of Charles' injury, Magneto made it his duty to fuck with Charles' shit as much as possible. He claims it is because they are on different sides, but really it's because he wants an excuse to see his old friend.

"I know you're there, Erik," Charles says with a lilt, rolling his chair into the shadow Magneto is lurking in. "You're not exactly subtle, you know."

Magneto scowls, but really, Charles has a point. "How's the academy?" he asks, almost genuinely curious.

A smile ghosts across Charles' face. "It is very well," he replies. "And your Brotherhood?"

Magneto thinks about their crappy apartment, Azazel's van, Emma's ego, Mystique's hygiene, Riptide's inability to do laundry, and Angel's sink-pissing. "Perfect," he says.

Charles quirks an eyebrow. "If you say so, my friend," he said, and Magneto decides to have Azazel sneak into the mansion that night and move some books around Charles' office.

It's the little things.


End file.
